Some things are funny for reasons I can’t explain. Suddenly I’ll look at something in a slightly different way and it will seem utterly hilarious. One day, Bahkti, my son, and I were sitting in the bath and I spotted a bottle of dog shampoo. On the label was a picture of a spaniel, one which did not look as if it wanted to be bathed. It appeared to be mouthing the sound waff, with the implicit meaning “don’t you dare bring that shampoo toward me”. I already had a private joke about spaniels (which I can’t explain here, unfortunately) and suddenly they became the second most miserable thing in the world.Read More
It’s a shoe of many talents; the thin black piping and neatly tied bow suggest a prim Edwardian schoolmistress, the damson pink color and cute peep toe signal a high-kicking showgirl, and it’s easy to picture that spiked heel being ground into a fleshy back by a sexy dominatrix. There’s also the bling factor, as embodied in the pale gold, engraved Gucci logo. The bootie goes by the name of “Newton,” though I’m not sure what the scientist would have made of its gravity-defying 4.5″ stiletto.Read More
Will we get hit by Mathew? Baltimore County has no idea what to do when it storms, they’ll probably cancel school – again. Which meant Laura’s day care would also be closed for the day. Which meant I would have to take yet another day off from work, after missing three days last week to the plague.
But I was able to go to work after all! Did I leave the dog in charge of the baby while I was away? Nope! I was able to leave Laura with a dear friend, whose 7-month-old son is the same size as my peanut of a daughter. Laura had a day-long playdate, while I went to work worry-free. And even better? My friend documented the day in photographs for me!
I am so thankful to have so many great friends right near us that I can count on in a pinch. I would do the same for them in a heartbeat if called upon! That’s what friends are for.Read More
We’ve covered some of the main boot camp exercises but it’s time to look at what the next step is. A lot of people quickly get bored of doing the same old same old week in and week out so we’ve taken the liberty to look at some key variations in traditional boot camp exercises. By adding these to your workout without weights you’ll start building muscle faster by shocking the muscles as well as focusing more on one side at a time:
1. Alternating Push Ups
Starting off with the push up switch up. If you can’t do a one handed push ups (let’s face it, most of us can’t… yet) then it’s time to try alternative push ups. You can accomplish this by finding an object between six inches and a foot high that will support your weight and fits under one hand. From here adopt your typical push up position and simple place more weight on the raised hand thus alleviating pressure from the opposite arm. You can do one side at a time or if you’re feeling energetic try switching side to side by pushing off each hand.Read More
Seriously. I have figured out some serious shit today. In reading the book The Sweet Potato Queens’ Field Guide to Men: Every Man I Love Is Either Married, Gay, or Dead the author talks about “Man Ears”. To quickly sum up – Man Ears is what all men have that make it so that everything we say somehow becomes an invitation for sex. Example: “Let’s watch a movie” becomes “I want to watch nasty porn with you and have sex with you while watching it” Example: “Would you pass me the newspaper please?” becomes “I will give you a blow job” You get the idea.
So today, I get the following email from my brother Professor (of “Hi I’m Prof, wanna fuck?” famed pick up line – only continuing to prove the “Man Ears” theory): “When are you moving?? I saw Dad yesterday and he said he knew nothing about you moving until last Saturday when he was at Gma’s.”Read More