Effing The Dog | Getting Things Done...Eventually

There are many productivity “experts” that insist you should work hard to empty your email inbox - process it to zero.  Others have even taken to giving one who does this the title of “Email Ninja”, which sounds cool but if you’re working towards adopting Effing The Dog™...it shouldn’t.  What is lost when you do that is the reason email exists in the first place:  to give us the satisfaction that we are as popular as we wanted to be when we were in high school.

That’s right.  I said it.  Remember back to your high school days - you likely fell into one of two categories, class structure or “cliques”:  Geek or Not Geek.  There was no in-between.  Don’t even try to argue that point.  I was there.

So, let’s say for argument’s sake you fell into the Geek model.  I’ll try to relate.  You would have spent very little time in the circle of communication.  More often you’d find yourself in isolation, either in a study hall or cramped locker.  There was some emptiness there.  It was unavoidable.

Fast forward to the dawn of the Internet.  The world was opening up, communication between people was become more frequent and less personal, and you were part of it.  Then a man by the name of Al Gore created email, at around the same time he created greenhouse gases.  And the Earth exploded. (When email was created, that is - not sure what went down with the whole greenhouse gases invention-thingy.)

Suddenly everyone had an email account (now people have two or more, but in the early days email accounts were like television sets in the 50’s - one per household) and inboxes were filling up.  But they filled up slowly.  Then came Junk Email (one man’s trash is another man’s treasure, right?) and other messages that filled the inbox up even faster.  As a result, everyone on the planet had become popular - even Nigerian princes.

So you could empty out your inbox.  But that defeats the purpose.  How would you like it if someone took away your reason for living?  That’s what we do to email when we do this.  And it’s definitely not the way to do it if you’re Effing The Dog™.

So, as your first REAL introduction to EffTD™, I’m about to provide you the tools to be a savior to your emails - a true “Inbox Hero.”

1. Junk Email:  Who are we to judge the Internet and Web 2.0?  It’s called “2.0” because it’s evolved, remember?  It’s smarter than us...so why fight it?  Junk Email should be read, stored and then forwarded to everyone in your address book.

2. Subscriptions:  Knowledge is power, right?  Don’t deny yourself of this.  Do the same with this as you would with Junk Email, but don’t send it to anyone over 60 in your address book.  Their brains are full already.

3. Family/Friends’ Email:  This is where EffTD™ kicks into high gear.  Read these emails, but don’t reply to them with another email.  Instead, call them up and spend a good deal of time on the phone with them to catch up or just chat.  If it goes to voicemail, the best way to deal with that is to carry on the conversation as if they were on the phone with you...until the conversation comes to a natural stop or the message stops recording.  If the alotted recording time is less than 3 minutes, call back to continue and repeat until you are satisfied.

4. Joke Email:  See #3.

5. Important Email:  ALL EMAIL IS IMPORTANT.  This is a key component if you are going to adopt the Effing The Dog™ lifestyle.

So why be an “Email Ninja” when you can horde the treasure trove known as your inbox by being an “Email Pirate” with EffTD™?

Isn’t being popular great?

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