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A week ago I reviewed the film Chaos Theory, as part of my segment EffTD Sort Of Goes To The Movies. For those of you who have not seen the film, I am left wondering why and also disappointed that you didn’t rush out to rent it (or not rush out to rent it and just download it) within the last week or so. For shame. On you. As an admirer of Ryan Reynolds’ work, and the character he plays in this film in particular, I decided to take it upon myself to enact one of the key elements of this film in real life…using index cards to make my decisions for me. Here’s how it went down:
1. I prepared 20 index cards to use for the experiment, all with different phrases/tasks/answers on them. I managed to find some of these “index cards” at the local dollar outlet (and they did not, however, cost a dollar. For shame. On them.) I also grabbed a Sharpie from somewhere for exactly a dollar less than a dollar to write with.
2. I placed the 20 cards in my slacks pocket (I only wears slacks because they contain the term “slack” in them - and my jogging slacks fit the description more fittingly than any other pair I have. They also fit me more loosingly than any other pair I have, for what it’s worth) and placed them beside my bed for easy access the next morning.
3. Laundry Day. My wife gathers all the clothes up that are not inside a dresser, chest of drawers or hanging up and washes them accordingly.
4. I wake up later that day, only to find my bedroom floor “slacksless.”
5. I wait until the slacks have gone through the wash, and remove the index cards from the dampened pocket. Only 3 survive the soaking.
6. Undaunted, I follow through on my pledge to eventually follow through on the experiment. While I have a very positive day, saying “yes” to many things, I am also told to “check oil” and “eat bacon” on a regular basis. I feel a strong sense of relief that my car is running smoothly, but a comparable sense of grossness in the amount of fat I have ingested. I’m also pretty sure I’ve committed a few criminal acts as a result of my “positive” choices.
7. As the day draws to a close, I make bail and drive home in my well-lubricated vehicle. When I finally fall asleep, pigs everywhere rejoice.
Conclusion: I consider the experiment a success, but will never do it again. You see, when I consulted the cards on that issue all I ended up doing was having a bacon cheeseburger. Minus the cheese and burger, of course.
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