Flying back from our vacation today was quit a hectic affair. With a toddler and a lap child in tow, we trekked through the jungle that is the airport and somehow made it through our flights. There were numerous ups and downs as you might expect on an all day traveling extravaganza with kids but one moment stood out for me. There was a woman sitting in front of us that was very agitated during the flight. She was frustrated with the person sitting in her row that kept going to the bathroom and she made sure all of us around her knew it. She was fidgeting constantly and seemed almost like she was anxious about the whole notion of being on an airplane.

At one point towards the end of the flight, she stood up, turned around and made a comment about one of my kids that wasn’t very nice. Instead of getting upset, I just took my son, who had been asleep most of the flight, and started quietly reading him a book. It was very unlike me (to be calm when encountering anger directed straight at me) but I just felt so zen about the whole thing. Seeing my response, or lack thereof, the woman just sat back down, pushed her chair back into my lap and fell right asleep. A few minutes later, as I was reading to my son, my husband reached over and gently took my hand in his. He then leaned in to me and said in a whisper, “sweetie, I’m so proud of you” and squeezed my hand. With just a few words and a light touch he filled my heart up right up.

At that moment, I felt such happiness. I squeezed his hand, gave him a quick smile and kept reading to my son. The rest of the flight was pretty much eventless. We went through the steps of getting our boys ready for landing. They were both great and we successfully made it home safe and sound. That one moment reminded me of how important it is to not let the daily frustrations that we inevitably encounter take hold of us. It’s not easy for me, but if I can win that battle even half the time, then I’ll be happy.

Mother Of Boys

I have two boys. I love my boys. I’m so happy that they are in my life. And most of the time, I’m sure that I don’t want any more children.

But there are those rare moments when I think about trying again for a girl.  Growing up, I always imagined myself having a girl. But fate dealt me another hand. And I love that hand. But sometimes I think about the relationship that I have with my mother and I get a little sad thinking that I will never have that with my daughter.  Although it doesn’t mean I can’t have just as close of a relationship with my boys.

The boys are just getting old enough that they are starting to play with each other and don’t need us every moment of the day and that feels GREAT! I love the thought of being able to have more time with my husband again and the thought of going on vacation without diapers (hopefully soon!). The four of us just fit so well together like a four piece puzzle.
We play and laugh and love each other. Having a one-on-one ratio of parent to child seems to just work and I don’t know if another child would throw off that beautiful balance.For now, I am going to enjoy the life I have and not think too much about the “ifs” and the “buts.”

 

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